Some part of my feeling of emptiness comes from my lonely spirit in this room. Iam alone and sick. I want to cry. Iam almost broken but I have to go on. This i heard froman old lady. Sometimes, these words make me feel better, but for how long? Till I arrive home and I have to go on taking those pills? Or till the end of that long-lasting treatment with five or six doctors?
Nothing seems to be real. All my future seems grey and dull. However, being a religious person and my love for reading involve me in a world I enjoy most. "To live in a bubble is not a good option" my eldest sister said once.Now, I ask what thing is a good one?... I don't know. even my nephew told me I was like Don Quixote.Yes, I live in "other world" far away from reality but who cares? I just told my little nephew that my option to live in "other world " was mine and that because I loved it not because i needed it.
Believe it or not, Iam happy with my books, my family and my religion. I can read a lot regardless the language, whether english or Spanish. Authors such as Sábato, Garcia Marquez, Borges, Romero, Bronte, Fitzgerald, Wilde, Poe,Stevenson and Dickens are some of my favourites. I must admitt I get excited when I buy books. I feel like Roald Dahl's character, Charlie, when eating Mr. Wonka's famous bar of chocolate.
Unfortunately, not everybody understands this but few ones; thanksfully, they are my friends and I love chatting with them about books when we occasionally meet in a cafe.
Any illness may be cured if we enjoy small things in life that provides "something" to our lives.
I can assure you. Iam doing my best because I love feeling ok with me and the rest. My love for life is increasing as days pass by.
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